When I was in middle school, I used to read three to four full-sized novels. Now I see anything longer than a paragraph I immediately bounce. I miss my brain cells. I can't believe they peaked at the age of 12.

First of all, I just want to say to anybody who will try to hook me up, that I am head over heels in love with deep dish pizza! Just in case we end up in an argument, you'll know how to get me. Best if partnered with steamy sex, of course.

A girl like me only comes once in a lifetime. You can't get this much hotness and craziness elsewhere. If I were you, I would message me right away. You have more chances of surviving a nuclear attack than finding someone like me.

I am a woman who is easily pleased by simple things such as love letters, keychains, house decorations, country music, and huge dicks. With a little emphasis to the last item, please. Wink!

Look at me, I have a lengthy dick and a phat ass. It is up to you to choose whether you'll let me suck your manhood or pound me in my butt. Either ways, we'll both have a good time.

If you're looking for a slightly alcoholic psychopath girlfriend who has no filter, eats too much, and will highly likely beat the crap out of you at Super Smash Bros, then here I am.